When A Woman Falters
September 5th 2008 14:07
After months of dealing with some marital issues, talking to people, friends, even complete strangers, I have realized one thing. Women are Strength.
My husband and I are facing problems that could seem both simple and complicated - depending on how you look at it.
To people who have been married for tens of years, it seems simple. It's nothing compared to what they've been through or what else we would be going through (in the premise that we'll make it through this one).
To others it might be too complicated that if they put themselves in my shoes, they'd be gone weeks ago.
Through all those months I've been talking to friends, there are three friends I constantly talk to.
1. My husband's high school friend who became a colleague at my previous company and a close friend since about a year ago. He went through a year or so of Seminary (yep TRIED to become a priest), a firm believer of marriages and has a strong hold on his faith. He tends to say the right things most of the time and has always been objective since he's been close to both of us in separate times of our lives.
2. One of my bestfriends who's in Texas now and has somehow become bitter about relationships and wouldn't care for sweet nothings as much as she cares about giving them to her own boyfriend. She's frank, straightforward and has the tendency to "side" with me - the woman.
3. My other bestfriend who lives out of town and has always been the most religious and faithful of all my friends. She's so in touch with her faith that sometimes I feel like I'm talking to a priest. She says the right things in the context of the Bible and they make so much sense.
Then we also have spoken to a married couple who have been doing counselling for years. they have been through worse times in their marriage and are genuinely understanding of our situation. Unfortunately when we talked to them, my husband did not like the idea of counselling so he didn't want to go talk to them another time. I did like talking and learning from them.
Lastly, I read a book called Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. His book was about marriages -- how cliche marital problems are and how simple it could be if we understand the differences of man from woman. He also is a very firm believer of faith and has tied his book's teachings with the bible and faith.
All of these friends, strangers and even the book have taught me one thing -- that women were made to be strong.
They all talk about how men have been given so much pride which we sometimes call Ego. Touch and even try to deflate this pride or ego and your whole relationship will go zooming all over the place.
They talked about how women, no matter how hurt they are have more patience and strength to put down their pride and every single ounce of pain to just be there for their man. Sure it's not true for every singlel man and woman, but it's the general makings of a woman and a man.
Women, most of the time take everything in. To a point that they're exploding. They turn to their faith to release everything and avoid releasing this to their husbands or partners. They pray to whichever being they believe in and vow to be there for better or worse.
Sure there are exceptional cases where it's no longer right to keep everything in and stay with a husband who's already abusing you in every sense of the word. But I'm not talking about those. I'm talking about every other married couple out there who go through the winds and grinds of a married life.
No matter what feminist groups say, a woman's role in a marriage is to be the strong one. If the woman falters, the whole marriage falters. Ironically, men cannot hold it together. They can only hold things for themselves, but not for the marriage. That's what women are for. BUT never tell a man he can't hold the marriage together, or everything else will falter.
you see, women were made stronger and wiser. They're made to mature faster than men so they can be the bigger person when things get rough. So they can understand the situation and know when to fold and when to stand up. Women cannot simply give up no matter how tough things become. Even when everything seems to be at an end, women hold on. Their instincts tell them to hold on and stay strong. When instincts are nowhere to be found, thats when your friends and family come in. Most of the time, they just steer you in the right direction and then you have to listen to your instincts again.
That's life. That's love. That's a woman.
My husband and I are facing problems that could seem both simple and complicated - depending on how you look at it.
To people who have been married for tens of years, it seems simple. It's nothing compared to what they've been through or what else we would be going through (in the premise that we'll make it through this one).
To others it might be too complicated that if they put themselves in my shoes, they'd be gone weeks ago.
Through all those months I've been talking to friends, there are three friends I constantly talk to.
1. My husband's high school friend who became a colleague at my previous company and a close friend since about a year ago. He went through a year or so of Seminary (yep TRIED to become a priest), a firm believer of marriages and has a strong hold on his faith. He tends to say the right things most of the time and has always been objective since he's been close to both of us in separate times of our lives.
2. One of my bestfriends who's in Texas now and has somehow become bitter about relationships and wouldn't care for sweet nothings as much as she cares about giving them to her own boyfriend. She's frank, straightforward and has the tendency to "side" with me - the woman.
3. My other bestfriend who lives out of town and has always been the most religious and faithful of all my friends. She's so in touch with her faith that sometimes I feel like I'm talking to a priest. She says the right things in the context of the Bible and they make so much sense.
Then we also have spoken to a married couple who have been doing counselling for years. they have been through worse times in their marriage and are genuinely understanding of our situation. Unfortunately when we talked to them, my husband did not like the idea of counselling so he didn't want to go talk to them another time. I did like talking and learning from them.
Lastly, I read a book called Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. His book was about marriages -- how cliche marital problems are and how simple it could be if we understand the differences of man from woman. He also is a very firm believer of faith and has tied his book's teachings with the bible and faith.
All of these friends, strangers and even the book have taught me one thing -- that women were made to be strong.
They all talk about how men have been given so much pride which we sometimes call Ego. Touch and even try to deflate this pride or ego and your whole relationship will go zooming all over the place.
They talked about how women, no matter how hurt they are have more patience and strength to put down their pride and every single ounce of pain to just be there for their man. Sure it's not true for every singlel man and woman, but it's the general makings of a woman and a man.
Women, most of the time take everything in. To a point that they're exploding. They turn to their faith to release everything and avoid releasing this to their husbands or partners. They pray to whichever being they believe in and vow to be there for better or worse.
Sure there are exceptional cases where it's no longer right to keep everything in and stay with a husband who's already abusing you in every sense of the word. But I'm not talking about those. I'm talking about every other married couple out there who go through the winds and grinds of a married life.
No matter what feminist groups say, a woman's role in a marriage is to be the strong one. If the woman falters, the whole marriage falters. Ironically, men cannot hold it together. They can only hold things for themselves, but not for the marriage. That's what women are for. BUT never tell a man he can't hold the marriage together, or everything else will falter.
you see, women were made stronger and wiser. They're made to mature faster than men so they can be the bigger person when things get rough. So they can understand the situation and know when to fold and when to stand up. Women cannot simply give up no matter how tough things become. Even when everything seems to be at an end, women hold on. Their instincts tell them to hold on and stay strong. When instincts are nowhere to be found, thats when your friends and family come in. Most of the time, they just steer you in the right direction and then you have to listen to your instincts again.
That's life. That's love. That's a woman.
| 51 |
| Vote |
Shared on
Subscribe to this blog
Comment by TimmyH
Tech News
Can you HACK it?
Genyration
Comment by Lara M
Love Speaks
Keep the strength and positivity up...
Comment by Hazel Castillo
Working Title
Cirrus Cloud
Movie Dime
Parent Adventures
Thank God writing and reading are helping me cope one day at a time...
Comment by Hazel Castillo
Working Title
Cirrus Cloud
Movie Dime
Parent Adventures
Thank God writing and reading are helping me cope one day at a time...