How Do You Trust?
July 21st 2008 07:32
Innocent children trust blindly, simply because they are that, innocent and clueless. They know nothing about betrayal and deceit.
The older we get, the harder it becomes to trust primarily because the more experience in life we have, the more hurts we have. We experience betrayal and deceit in different levels and the worse they are, the more difficult it is to start trusting again.
This morning, I was waiting for my husband outside the bank after I had the car washed. I saw a couple with the man holding a child. The woman was holding an umbrella over them and they seem to be in a hurry somewhere, in fact they almost bumped into my vehicle.
I didn't really pay any attention to them aside from those facts since I was busy reading a book. I didn't see their faces or that they seemed worried. I didn't pay attention until a knock on my window almost startled me.
I thought my husband was there but I really didn't see him come out of the bank and the knock didn't come from the passenger's side of the car. It was on my side. I had thought the guard would tell me off for waiting by the side walk but I remembered I was parked properly.
Then I realized it was the family I saw just a few minutes ago. They were talking, nay pleading for something I couldn't understand for my window was closed.
I had second thoughts on whether I should open my window or not. Nowadays, especially in Asia you wouldn't know who's knocking on your door or in my case, your window. Quickly my thoughts went from:
"what could they want? Alms? They seem to be a decent family..."
"what if they only seem like they're pleading for something but really would mug me once I open the window?"
Then it hit me...
"Why am I so mean??? How can I possibly think negative thoughts before positive??"
I decided a split second later to just open the window slightly.
The man explained quickly that his eldest son is at home, dying of Dengue Fever (very similar to Malaria or H-Fever). Their boss/employer is out of town and they don't know where to go to anymore. Their son will need blood transfusion or he might die.
The word Dengue Fever instantly zoomed me to almost 10 years ago.
My two youngest sisters were struck by Dengue Fever almost 10 years ago when Dengue Fever was not yet easily diagnosed. They were both on the ICU and stayed there for almost a week. The older of the two almost died. We had to ask everyone and anyone we know to help replace the blood we'll be getting from the blood bank.
We prayed. More than any of us have prayed before. My mother couldn't stop crying and wouldn't go home to rest or take a proper bath. She couldn't leave her two babies alone. They were about 8 & 11 years old then.
I remember my father telling us after the whole trial that he prayed hard and said in his prayers to "take away everything I have, just not my daughters." Sure enough, a year later, he lost his business, he lost about a quarter of a Million USD on a project he just finished... but we didn't care. My sisters got better, and now both in college.
This incident literally ran through my head in less than a minute then I saw the look on the man's face. I remembered my father.
Should I trust them and help them with the little money I have in my pocket? Should I just say sorry, I don't have anything?
In the end, I gave them a very small amount compared to what they'll be needing, I really had nothing in my pocket, that's why my husband was in the bank. I also just resigned from work. I do know however that no matter how small my help was, it will still help. I hope.
After I gave them the money, they thanked me and I closed my window quick. I prayed. For the family and for their son. I asked God why he sent them to me... What he was trying to show me or teach me?
Then after I prayed, I had one regret, that I didn't give them everything I had instead of just a portion of what I had.
God was teaching me to trust again. He showed me that even though I have just been recently betrayed and hurt, I need to start trusting again.
I am learning to. The amount I gave to the family compared to what I had that time is I guess the amount of Trust i can give at the moment. If i had to proportion it, I gave them a quarter of everything I had in my pocket then.
I'm learning to trust again. I don't know how to fully trust again, but it's a start.
How do you trust? You take risks.
The older we get, the harder it becomes to trust primarily because the more experience in life we have, the more hurts we have. We experience betrayal and deceit in different levels and the worse they are, the more difficult it is to start trusting again.
This morning, I was waiting for my husband outside the bank after I had the car washed. I saw a couple with the man holding a child. The woman was holding an umbrella over them and they seem to be in a hurry somewhere, in fact they almost bumped into my vehicle.
I didn't really pay any attention to them aside from those facts since I was busy reading a book. I didn't see their faces or that they seemed worried. I didn't pay attention until a knock on my window almost startled me.
I thought my husband was there but I really didn't see him come out of the bank and the knock didn't come from the passenger's side of the car. It was on my side. I had thought the guard would tell me off for waiting by the side walk but I remembered I was parked properly.
Then I realized it was the family I saw just a few minutes ago. They were talking, nay pleading for something I couldn't understand for my window was closed.
I had second thoughts on whether I should open my window or not. Nowadays, especially in Asia you wouldn't know who's knocking on your door or in my case, your window. Quickly my thoughts went from:
"what could they want? Alms? They seem to be a decent family..."
"what if they only seem like they're pleading for something but really would mug me once I open the window?"
Then it hit me...
"Why am I so mean??? How can I possibly think negative thoughts before positive??"
I decided a split second later to just open the window slightly.
The man explained quickly that his eldest son is at home, dying of Dengue Fever (very similar to Malaria or H-Fever). Their boss/employer is out of town and they don't know where to go to anymore. Their son will need blood transfusion or he might die.
The word Dengue Fever instantly zoomed me to almost 10 years ago.
My two youngest sisters were struck by Dengue Fever almost 10 years ago when Dengue Fever was not yet easily diagnosed. They were both on the ICU and stayed there for almost a week. The older of the two almost died. We had to ask everyone and anyone we know to help replace the blood we'll be getting from the blood bank.
We prayed. More than any of us have prayed before. My mother couldn't stop crying and wouldn't go home to rest or take a proper bath. She couldn't leave her two babies alone. They were about 8 & 11 years old then.
I remember my father telling us after the whole trial that he prayed hard and said in his prayers to "take away everything I have, just not my daughters." Sure enough, a year later, he lost his business, he lost about a quarter of a Million USD on a project he just finished... but we didn't care. My sisters got better, and now both in college.
This incident literally ran through my head in less than a minute then I saw the look on the man's face. I remembered my father.
Should I trust them and help them with the little money I have in my pocket? Should I just say sorry, I don't have anything?
In the end, I gave them a very small amount compared to what they'll be needing, I really had nothing in my pocket, that's why my husband was in the bank. I also just resigned from work. I do know however that no matter how small my help was, it will still help. I hope.
After I gave them the money, they thanked me and I closed my window quick. I prayed. For the family and for their son. I asked God why he sent them to me... What he was trying to show me or teach me?
Then after I prayed, I had one regret, that I didn't give them everything I had instead of just a portion of what I had.
God was teaching me to trust again. He showed me that even though I have just been recently betrayed and hurt, I need to start trusting again.
I am learning to. The amount I gave to the family compared to what I had that time is I guess the amount of Trust i can give at the moment. If i had to proportion it, I gave them a quarter of everything I had in my pocket then.
I'm learning to trust again. I don't know how to fully trust again, but it's a start.
How do you trust? You take risks.
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Comment by Cheryl J
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Comment by Hazel Castillo
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True. What have you got to lose if you give something that you can earn back anyway right?
Comment by Hazel Castillo
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Cirrus Cloud
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That's ineresting. At least you enjoyed something you hate lol. doesn't make sense huh?
Nice seeing you here